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Growth.

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Do you guys ever get the feeling when you’re going somewhere and you’re so lost in thought that you don’t really pay attention to what’s going on until you finally arrive at your destination?

I think I entered the new year this way except I wasn’t so lost in thought but instead I believe the new year came very candidly to me. Sort of in a way where something snuck into the same room I’m in, but I had no idea it was there. 2016 flew by way to quick yet way to slow. Strangely, I don’t know why but I feel like there’s something missing. I guess you can say I’m not all that pleased with how 2016 went for me. I feel as though I wasted too much time this past year which led to a lot of counter-productivity. I think I need to learn to be more mindful of my time and practice discipline. Which is sort of a new resolution for me this year.

I want to be able to cultivate a culture of discipline and ownership in my life because without it, I believe I won’t be able to confront the toil that is needed in order for growth to be obtained. 

That’s the hardest part. Facing what’s hard in our lives. I think we all, especially me, love to avoid and run away as far as I possibly can. Truthfully, I’ve done that for many years and I think it’s caused me more damage than actually facing what I need to. And for a while now, I haven’t really been growing. For a long time, I’ve been quite stagnant and it’s been painful. This year, I really want to experience my resolution unfold into reality. And to stop telling myself that I can’t or that I’m not good enough.

If we can tell our children they can dream big, be who they want to be, achieve what they want to do, then why can’t we also say those words over ourselves?

My thoughts control my actions and I think it all starts with attitude. Without the right attitude, I’ve already failed. That’s something I think I really need to work on. As hard as it may be, I feel hopeful and even excited. And I hope along with myself, that all of us can work out the afflictions within ourselves and make beauty out of our ashes.

I know it’s late but Happy New Years!

The Boy and a Wolf | Part Two

The moon shined brightly as the color of the morning began to spill its light into the night sky. It created a soft hue of blue and purple—the type of shade that’s produced right before the sun rises. Silence fell over the forest as the boy laid awake beneath the willow tree. Dawn’s light painted a new face over what was once the dark surroundings of the night. However, the boy was lost in his own thoughts that these changes went unnoticed before his eyes. Beside him, the wolf also sat awake staring intently at the boy.

“What causes you to think, little one?”

Before the boy answered, some time passed—for how long, no one knew. Only silence flowed in this space.

“I don’t get why it’s so hard to connect. What is it about you or me, or anyone for that matter to just understand each other?”

The wolf continued to stare intently without breaking its glance; without skipping a beat.

“I like to think that our hearts are like deep oceans. None of us knows what could be lingering around at the bottom. We can only imagine by what springs up to the surface every now and then. But in those instances, when we see what surfaces, is when we may see their heart and understand who they are. In those moments, they share what’s in their ocean with us. That is how we connect.”

The boy stood up and took a few steps past the wolf as his eyes wandered into the depths of the forest.

“I would like to know what lingers at the bottom of yours as you know what lingers in the bottom of mine. But unfortunately, I don’t know what the depths of my ocean holds. If only you could know, then perhaps you also can uniquely make a boy like me named.”

The sun began to peek over the mountain top, gleaming its light over the horizon, robbing the moon of its nighttime brilliance. Until it was nothing more than a thin gray paper moon hanging in the sky.

Heart of Gratitude.

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I would consider myself a pessimist and I have a hard time looking at the positive side of things. And so, I think there are many things that go unnoticed for me. This year has been tough but I think I made it tougher than it should’ve been. The more I am unaware of the good things around me, the more I magnify the negative things in my life. Which is very unhealthy and toxic.

This year has felt long and difficult. I think one of the hardest years I’ve had. There are certainly many things I wish I did better and things I wish I did or didn’t do. There were many times I can recall where I’ve felt crippled by depression and overwhelmed with burden. But still, I am content. The fact that I am here still drawing breath means there is still fight left in me and I won’t stop fighting now. I think I need to learn to be more appreciative and grateful. I am blessed with much but take for granted much. I hope that as this year ends and a new year begins, I can cultivate a lifestyle of gratitude and positive thinking. But anyways, happy Thanksgiving everyone! And happy holidays!

 

 

Breathing, Moving, Living, etc.

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Hello everyone! I know it’s been a while and I feel like I’m always apologizing for not posting often. I’m sorry!

I recently went to an art/botanical garden exhibit and I wanted to share some photos with you guys. Out of everything there, I found the Japanese and Chinese gardens just so stunning! So here are the pictures for that. I hope you guys enjoy!

On another note, lately, I’ve been getting so anxious as the year is coming to an end. I’m so swamped with school but I’m definitely looking forward to the holidays! Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year’s has always been my favorites. I hope to finish this semester strong and have some fun over the winter. Perhaps travel during the break.

What are you guys doing over the holidays? Any plans? Special events? Let me know!

New Orleans, Louisiana.

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Hello everyone!

It’s been a real long time. A little too long in my opinion. I apologize for my hiatus. I’ve just been going through a lot of things which I’ll probably talk about in another post soon. I’ve truly missed blogging and the community that I’ve built here. For now, I’d like to keep what I say short because I put up so many pictures. I hope you guys enjoy!

I try my best to travel during my breaks away from school. This summer I visited New Orleans, Louisiana! It was such a wonderful trip. I spent about a week there and we did a bunch of things. We checked out several tours such as the city tour, swamp tour, and the voodoo tour. They were all great. If any of you guys plan to go to New Orleans, I’d recommend going on those tours. They are really informative and you learn a lot about the history and culture of New Orleans. We also walked around French Quarter and Bourbon Street. Both of which I thought was amazing. There’s live jazz playing in most places, tons of restaurants, endless stream of stores, and everyone there was very friendly. I was a bit disappointed in Bourbon Street at night because it wasn’t what I expected. Typically, it’s known for jazz and a more classy culture but I felt like I was at Vegas.

The highlights of my trip was definitely being able to go on a cruise called Steamboat Nachez. You can see the beautiful landscape of the city, great food, alcohol, and the ambience of a live jazz band. The swamp tour as well because we were able to see alligators and the swamps were surprisingly more beautiful than I expected. All in all, it was a great trip!

Silence In The Morning.

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Ever since Spring semester started I’ve been trying to wake up earlier, fix myself a simple breakfast, and brew a cup of coffee each morning. I think it’s been good for me because it gives me time to think as I give myself up to its silence. There are things I find during this time. Sometimes, I uncover peace and other times grief is quick to greet me. To be completely honest, ever since the start of this new year I’ve been quite depressed. I like to think the number of days in a life is like the number of sand in an hourglass. Eventually, the last grain will fall as we breathe our last breath. We don’t have forever the way our delusional eyes paint for us. Thus, there has to be a sense of urgency with the way we spend our day because it is a day we’ll never get back. Therefore, my lack of productivity, and the lack of attempt to chase what I love has been excruciatingly painful for me. Unfortunately, the clock is ticking and the hours are going by. The past increases as the future recedes, and it feels like my possibilities are slipping away as regrets are collected. Perhaps I’m being dramatic? Yeah, probably. This has been on my mind for some time now. I just wish I can get myself to do something about it but strangely, I won’t. I don’t know why.

I haven’t posted in about a month and I haven’t even touched this blog since. I guess my mind has just been elsewhere lately. However, I think it’s about time I start coming back and begin posting regularly. If you guys have read to the end of this long rant, then please write a comment! How has your guys’ 2016 been so far?

December’s Musing.

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Hey guys!
I know I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve just been so busy lately, but I’m officially on winter break! It feels so good to relax until I go back for Spring semester. I’ve actually been finished with school since last week but haven’t gotten around posting until now.

To be quite honest, I’ve been very stressed and a bit depressed lately. Something I don’t like to mention about myself is that I experience episodes of depression often. I think I really want to just get away. I’m glad I’m doing a lot of traveling over the winter (which I will post about more later). I really want to just take some time away from my busy routines and responsibilities, but perhaps that means I’m just running away.

It’s really hard to deal with obstacles when they are self-made. I become the writer of my own suffering–where my pen of grief meets the fragile paper of my heart. Dramatic? Yeah, probably but it feels like that a lot of the times. Christmas is just around the corner, a holiday that I’ve always loved, yet joy and excitement is slow to greet me this time around.

I need to push through.

How are you guys doing? How’s December been going for all of you?