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Silence In The Morning.

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Ever since Spring semester started I’ve been trying to wake up earlier, fix myself a simple breakfast, and brew a cup of coffee each morning. I think it’s been good for me because it gives me time to think as I give myself up to its silence. There are things I find during this time. Sometimes, I uncover peace and other times grief is quick to greet me. To be completely honest, ever since the start of this new year I’ve been quite depressed. I like to think the number of days in a life is like the number of sand in an hourglass. Eventually, the last grain will fall as we breathe our last breath. We don’t have forever the way our delusional eyes paint for us. Thus, there has to be a sense of urgency with the way we spend our day because it is a day we’ll never get back. Therefore, my lack of productivity, and the lack of attempt to chase what I love has been excruciatingly painful for me. Unfortunately, the clock is ticking and the hours are going by. The past increases as the future recedes, and it feels like my possibilities are slipping away as regrets are collected. Perhaps I’m being dramatic? Yeah, probably. This has been on my mind for some time now. I just wish I can get myself to do something about it but strangely, I won’t. I don’t know why.

I haven’t posted in about a month and I haven’t even touched this blog since. I guess my mind has just been elsewhere lately. However, I think it’s about time I start coming back and begin posting regularly. If you guys have read to the end of this long rant, then please write a comment! How has your guys’ 2016 been so far?

Disillusionment.

Notepad, laptop and coffee cup on wood table

Hey everyone! I’m sorry for not posting for such a long time. School has seriously been kicking me in the butt. I thought after a few tests that I had I was able to breathe, but I was wrong. In fact, I don’t see myself realistically finding a moment to breathe until this semester is actually over (which is quite unfortunate because I feel like I’m not able to what I want such as blogging, taking pictures, etc).

This week, much like the last time I posted, was made up of similar events. I studied, studied, and yeah, studied some more. I’m quite exhausted but in between all the studying, I’ve been able to slip in some time to journal. It sort of helped me stay sane–almost like my tool to escape becoming disillusioned. I’ve been journaling how I’m doing, how I’m feeling, things that’s happened, plan future events, etc.

Speaking of future events, I know I haven’t been able to post up anything interesting but around December, once I end school, I will be traveling and taking a lot of pictures. I can’t wait! I’m already anticipating the excitement. That’s how I’ll be spending my holidays! How about you guys? Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner. How are you guys going to spend the holidays as this year comes to and end? Please leave a comment below because I’d love to know you guys more! Till then, cheers!

Coffee.

The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes

Lady in the distance.

Conversations swelled up in volume within the coffee shop as more customers walked in. I became distracted from my work and decided to take a break by studying the people around me. My eyes stopped to a lady that was reading a book. I stared at her from across the distance, but she didn’t notice my gaze.  Her small body occupied the chair by the fire where she quietly read. The noise of the universe fell silent as the woman immersed herself in the depths of her mind–where peace greeted her. I felt more drawn to her the longer I watched, as though my own reality slipped into her world.

My eyes traced the outline of her slim physique. I followed the flow of her dark hair to where they rested lightly on her shoulders, then down to her legs. Though her eyes looked busy from the book, they seemed vacant. It was as if at any moment the life within her eyes could disappear. Once gone it could be filled with the sorrow that lives inside of her. It was in this moment, I humored at the thought that a stranger like her, whom I’ve never talked to or seen, can experience the kind of sorrow that lives inside of me.

Embarrassment & Caffeine.

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Several days ago, I was at an outdoor cafe by a busy street. A sense of embarrassment enveloped me. “What are you doing? Sit back down! The people around you are staring!” Those were the immediate thoughts I had when I got up from my table to take pictures.
As I stood at the center of the place, something dawned on me and I couldn’t help but find it comedic. We’re all strange and do weird things–so what? Why do we allow ourselves to be so desensitized just because of what others think? Just to fit in with the social norm? I don’t think fear of other people should stop us from doing what makes us happy. Who cares whether it’s strange to others? Don’t limit yourself because of fear. Instead, make choices out of love. I think it’s completely acceptable to live a life that may be different to others and may appear strange to others. We should embrace it! Let’s all delight in being weird with confidence and boldness!