Depression’s Greetings.

As I’m writing this post, I’m not really formulating thoughts and trying to make structure. At this moment, I’m typing out the thoughts that are coming to me. Perhaps it’s because the hour is late, or perhaps I just don’t care right now. Whatever the reason, I felt the need to write this.

When I look at the past few months of my life, I can’t help but notice a consistency of depression. Actually, no. This entire year so far has felt this way. A part of me is afraid to confess this over a public post. I don’t enjoy being vulnerable and try my best to hide who I am and what I feel. I think it’s because I’m afraid of what people think. I don’t know..

It’s there in every corner. Every morning. Everything that I do. Depression never fails to greet me. It sucks. I feel suffocated and all I ever want to do is escape. Do you guys ever feel this way? For this long? Is what I’m feeling relatable? Or am I just spouting nonsense? It’s as though the sound of my cries echo into oblivion and vaporizes into thin air–where the sound will never reach the ears of hope. I don’t know. Perhaps I’m just giving myself a pity party. I don’t know..

I feel so tired.

My hands are tired.

My feet are tired.

My heart is tired.

My soul is tired.

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48 Comments on “Depression’s Greetings.

  1. I can’t help but to comment on this.
    Let go of everything. EVERYTHING.
    Just keep on holding to what makes you happy.
    Do the things you love to do. Relax.
    Nothing is worth that amount of depression, whatever it is, there’s always a path to happiness and peace of mind.
    I’ve written some posts about positive vibes and road to happiness, check them out, they may help you.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You’re definitely not alone. I feel this way too typically it’ll last a day or a week, lately it’s been over month it really depends on the reason.

    I asked a guy what he liked about surfing he said, “From the moment I paddle out it’s as though everything vanishes all my thoughts are left on the sand and from then on its just me and the waves”

    I think we all need something like that in our life. For me, it’s creating stories. I can get lost in my head for hours and when I come back I feel myself again.

    It also helps me to remember the temporality of it all. Your happiest moment in life didn’t last forever it withered away becoming a warm memory, your depression will fade too becoming only a shadow of what was your pain.

    Brave post, btw.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you.
      Yeah I was very hesitant on writing this post. I really appreciate your words though. You know.. I think for me it would be traveling. Whenever I go travel, I feel that very thing as the surfer of your story.

      Thanks. Your comment actually really spoke life into me.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Thank you for sharing something so personal. Just know that you have people who love you, in life and on WordPress. I wish you the best in your journey to self-discovery and healing. Stay strong!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes. I have felt this way.
    For a very long time.
    Darkness.
    All around.
    All day.
    Everyday

    And then there were glimpses of sunshine.
    Just a glimpse.
    A ray or two, really.
    Then there was a sunny afternoon.
    I felt tired that night.
    It was a different tired.
    It was a good tired.
    A few days later…the sun shined all day long.
    Now I still have dark days.
    Dark moments.
    Dark weeks.
    But they are surrounded by sun shine.
    They are surrounded by Son shine.

    May you find Son shine and in Him find sunshine.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I really liked this. It was very good. You seem like a very introspective person. A very good trait to have when dealing with hardship and hearing God’s word.

      Like

      • Thank you. I took this comment and used it to launch another poem. I’ll publish it later this week.

        I have dealt not only with losing a son, but we have family who dealt with addiction and mental health issues. In working the twelve steps, I have learned to look at my part in issues. I love the part of Psalm 139 that says:

        Search me, God, and know my heart;
        test me and know my anxious thoughts.
        See if there is any offensive way in me,
        and lead me in the way everlasting.

        I need Him to show me the ugliness in me. He is loving and kind. Patient and merciful. He will gently correct me. In love.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That is a beautiful passage. Psalms are actually my favorite book in the Bible just because of the sheer emotion between the Psalmist and God. Perhaps you and I should both use this as our own way of interacting with God.

        Like

  5. Pingback: Sunshine | kathleenbduncan

  6. “…all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; …” John Donne. I think that perhaps the sadness (or depression) that we feel can be a means to open the way to a different way of seeing and thinking. Donne was talking about death but the reality is that we die every day and are born anew every morning (sleep is in some ways a little death). Each day that one is alive is a gift to be lived and shared. I think that sharing the not so good is just as important as sharing the good….thank you for your honesty.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s quite brilliant. Perhaps our slumber is in a way a little like death. Each morning, each new day, is a new beginning. Thank you for sharing this quote and this comment. It was really nice.

      Like

  7. Hey! I know that feeling of just loneliness and darkness everywhere. All know is things will get better soon just hold on tight okay? Great post btw looking forward to more 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I hope things are better since you wrote this post. Nothing wrong with writing your honest thoughts and being vulnerable for a moment. Most of us can relate to this. I have found writing and baring my soul is the best remedy and the words of support from others help me get through a depressing day(s).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. Your comment was very thoughtful. I appreciate it a lot.
      Yes, I have been feeling better. I still get depressed here and there but I’m learning to fight it. Definitely writing helps me along with anything else that I love to do. I am trying 🙂

      Like

  9. I am sorry you have been feeling this way. I hope it gets better for you soon. I don’t think your thoughts are out of the ordinary. I applaud you for being open with them. I can relate to much of what you said here.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. God! This reminds me of how bad last year was for me. I went through several months of bipolar depression and felt a lot like this. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. I know this may not help, but when I was at my lowest, all I kept thinking about what that I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel….even though I couldn’t see it or feel it’s warmth. Sometimes, you gotta just keep moving ahead and wait it out. Eventually you’ll see the tiny glimmer and it’ll give you hope.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. Your words are very kind. I appreciate it. I was going through a tough time and I still sort of am. But it’s been getting better 🙂 Thank you for the support and encouragement!

      Like

  11. “My soul is tired”…You’ve put it in a nutshell. I think this is a beautiful, yet apt way to express what is often difficult to articulate. You have an incredible gift for words and a healthy outlet of writing. Allow this to be a healing experience. Psalm 116:7 Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. I really appreciate that. I think I wrote this coming from a personal place so I happen to be able to express better.

      And thank you for that passage. I tend to find myself reading Psalms whenever I feel this way. I appreciate you sharing that with me. I’m surprise though.. Did you know I was a Christian? Or.. Did you share it regardless?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I could tell you were Christian from your blog content. I shared this Psalm because I thought it fit well with both the topic of your piece and your gift for writing. Looking forward to future posts.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha I see. That’s a bit funny to me. Thanks though I really appreciate it. I’m so glad to find a fellow Christian on WordPress 🙂 Definitely looking forward to future posts from you as well!

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I absolutely feel this. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and look for the positive wherever you can find it. People do hear you, they do understand, and it will get better.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Thank you for writing this. It is very descriptive, honest and true. I think you capture the nature of depression. Depression can and does get easier if you get some help. Admitting and acknowledging your feelings and where you are at it a really big part of this process. I know you wrote this a couple of months ago so I hope you re feeling a bit better. Keep going with your blog. It helps to be creative, express yourself and connect with others. Take care from Debra @ https://cultivatingtime.wordpress.com/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Debra,
      Thanks so much. Your words are too kind. I really do appreciate it. This has been a couple of months ago, and I still am battling against my depression but it has gotten a lot better. Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know it can make you feel very alone but remember a lot of people struggle with depression. It’s about trying things and finding what works for you.

        Like

    • You’re welcome and thank you! Yeah, I was a bit hesitant but I’m glad I did. I’ve gotten a lot better since then. I appreciate your concern!

      Like

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