Lately, I’ve been feeling anxious–perhaps even afraid. I fear that my chances to make beneficial decisions will fall through my fingers. As each day passes, I realize that I can’t continue to be indecisive. Time will run out and the need for an answer follows close behind me. Ironically, it’s in that indecisiveness that allows me to truly find myself; to ponder on what should be done.
Sometimes, my desire to stand in place on the road that I’m on, and just gaze out forever lingers. I want to stare out until my eyes meet the far horizon of this path, and watch it turn faint and disappear. The longer I stand, the longer it’s like time does not move; that the comfort of stillness is now endless. I could easily drift into a dream and hide beneath the lies of happiness that indecisiveness offers. As I dwell in this hesitation, decay has slowly been falling into the spaces that were once occupied by joy. How long must this go on? What must I do? My heart to traverse this trail of progression, and to make my choices overwhelm me.